You are 8 questions away from fire!
This morning I was sitting in my office working with a client on letting go of her past. She just survived a nasty divorce, with two little kids. She is now a single mom, working two jobs just to keep up. She has done some fantastic work on herself, finding her confidence and enforcing her boundaries. She is finally happy.
The thing that was still coming up the most for her was the idea of really letting go of her ex-husband, as he used to be. She recognizes that they both have changed, and are not the people they once were a decade ago. She said to me, “but the thoughs keep coming up!” She misses him.
I totally get it. She missed the man he used to be. The man she married.
I tell you this story because I hear it all too often. We get attached to things and people as they are. Then time goes by. Then THEY change. We struggle because we did not change with them.
What do we do when we recognize that we are hanging on to the old version of (fill in the blank person or thing here)?
There is a little journaling formula I use. It is a simple series of 8 questions.
1. What is your favorite memory?
2. What do you regret?
3. What are you proud of?
4. What are you thankful for?
5. What did you learn?
6. How are you different now?
7. What new directions in life do you see now?
8. What two things will you do in memory of this loss and letting go?
These questions are designed to help you think and feel your way into the present moment, seeing the reasons why to let go of the past.
Write out the answers to these 8 questions. Then, burn them. Yes, light that paper on fire. There is something very therapeutic about a good flame.
It is a visual symbol of you letting go of the inaccurate and unhealthy constructs you were holding on to.